Jun
5
Men, I’m sorry to tell you that Corporal Wright was killed by a tiger on a jungle path last night because he didn’t think quickly enough. Private Smith, if you had been in the Corporal’s shoes, what steps would you have taken?
Great big ones, sir!
————
A man paid $1000 for a dog that could talk. He took it to a friend and said, “Look at this. I have a dog that talks.”
“Don’t be stupid”, his friend said. “I’ll bet you $30 it can’t talk.”
The dog said nothing and the man had to pay his friend $30. He was furious.
“Why didn’t you say something, you stupid animal? If you had said something, I would have won $30.”
“Not so stupid”, said the dog. “Just think of the money you’ll win next time.”
————
When we arrived at the airport this morning, there was a man running up and down shouting. “Take a bus, take a train but don’t take a plane. It’s wrong to fly. If God had meant people to fly, he would have given them wings.”
Who was the man?
Our pilot! Baca selengkapnya »
Jun
4
If you had 20 apples in your right hand and 30 in your left, what would you have?
Sore arms.
————
A doctor asked three men what they would do if he told them they only had one month left to live.
I would stop work, live quietly, and prepare to die, replied the first man.
I would take all my money out of the bank and spend it, said the second man.
I would get a second opinion, said the third man.
————
Spell blind bird.
b-l-i-n-d-b-i-r-d
Wrong. It’s b-l-n-d b-r-d because if it had two i’s, it would not be blind!
————
What would you do if you were in my shoes?
Polish them. Baca selengkapnya »
Apr
1
Seorang wanita tua masuk ke Bank Indonesia (BI) dengan sekoper uang. Ia membujuk supaya dipertemukan dengan Gubernur BI. “Saya akan buka rekening. Uang yang akan saya simpan sangat-sangat besar,” katanya. Semula staf bank ragu, tapi akhirnya membawa wanita tua ini ke ruangan Gubernur BI.
Sang gubernur bertanya, berapa banyak uang yang akan disimpan.
“Rp. 1 milyar,” jawab wanita itu sambil meletakkan koper uang di meja.
Sang gubernur bank penasaran, “Maaf, ibu saya agak terkejut. Dari mana ibu dapatkan uang tunai sebanyak ini?”
“Saya menang tebak-tebakan!”
“Well, menebak macam apa, kok taruhannya besar sekali?” sang gubernur penasaran.
“Mau contoh? Saya yakin telur burungmu bentuknya kotak!”
“Hah…!” Gubernur BI tergelak. “Ini tebakan paling konyol yang pernah saya dengar. Anda tak mungkin menang dengan tebakan seperti itu, ” ujarnya yakin. Baca selengkapnya »
Jul
18
Akulah pekerja kreatif
Gak ada kerjaan aku nyari kerjaan
Masih gak ada kerjaan juga
Aku nyari-nyari siapa yang bisa dikerjain…
Aku pekerja kreatif
Jam rumah aku lebihi 10 menit
Biar tidak terlambat kantor
Jam kantor aku kurangi sepuluh menit
Biar rasanya kayak pulang awal… Baca selengkapnya »
Jul
16
Seorang wanita cantik tengah menikmati perjalanannya dalam kapal pesiar. Dia sangat mengagumi kemewahan kapal itu. Baru pertama kali dia melihat kapal seperti itu. Untuk mengenang perjalanannya dia menulis dalam buku hariannya.
Tanggal 13:
Bukan hari yang sial… namun keberuntungan buatku.
Aku bisa mengenal kapten kapal dan ternyata dugaanku benar…
Dia sangat gagah dan tampan… aaah benar-benar beruntungnya aku. Baca selengkapnya »
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