Category Archives: In English / Bahasa Inggris

Cerita lucu dalam bahasa Inggris. Humor in English.

Thank You Seven

Si Tejo baru belajar bahasa inggris. Kosa kata yang dia mengerti baru sebatas: Ok, Never Mind, Thank you, One, Two, Three, Four Five, Six, Seven dan Bye-Bye.

Pada suatu hari, dalam perjalanan pulang dari tempat kursusnya, tiba-tiba dia bersenggolan dengan seorang Bule.

Buku yang dibawa Tejo-pun terjatuh, Bule itu lalu membantu Tejo ngambil buku-buku yang berhamburan.

“Hmm… ini peluang untuk nguji kehebatan bahasa inggris-ku” kata Tejo dalam hati.

Bule: Oh, I’m Sorry.

Tejo: It’s Ok, Never Mind. Thank you.

Bule: Thank you Too.

Tejo: (hmm… habis Two, pasti Three) Thank You Three.

Bule: (heran) What For?

Tejo: (Four… Four hmm Five) Thank you Five.

Bule: (Tambah Heran) Are you Sick?

Tejo: (Waduh, habis Sick… Seven… setelah itu, aku sudah tidak tau dah… mesti cepet cabut nich)

Tejo pun cepet-cepet mengemasi bukunya dan beranjak pergi…

Setelah agak jauh, Lalu Tejo berteriak… “Thank you Seveeen! Bye-Bye…”

Bule: (bingung)

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Sardarji and a Frenchman

Sardarji is having breakfast, in Paris, one morning (coffee, croissants, bread, butter and jam) when a Frenchman, chewing bubble-gum, sits down next to him The Indian ignores the Frenchman who, nevertheless, start conversation.

Frenchman: ‘You Indian folk eat the whole bread??’

Sardarji (in a bad mood): ‘Of course.’

Frenchman: (after blowing a huge bubble): ‘We don’t. In France, we only eat what’s inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle it, transform them into croissants and sell them to India .’ The Frenchman has a smirk on his face.

The Sardarji listens in silence.

The Frenchman persists: ‘Do you eat jam with the bread??’

Sardarji: ‘Of course.’

Frenchman: (cracking his bubble-gum between his teeth and chuckling) ‘We don’t. In France we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds, and leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam, and sell the jam to India .’

After a moment of silence, Sardarji then asks: ‘Do you make love in France?’

Frenchman: ‘Why of course we do’, he says with a big smirk.

Sardarji: ‘And what do you do with the condoms once you’ve used them?’

Frenchman: ‘We throw them away, of course..’

Sardarji: ‘We don’t. In India, we put them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into bubble-gum, and sell them to France .’

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I’m in Room 1221

A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question.

As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast.

They are both startled and he says, “Ma’am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you’ll forgive me.”

She replies, “If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I’m in room 1221.”

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When IT Guys Sing a Song (3)

The Beatles – Let it Be

When I find my code in tons of trouble,
Friends and colleagues come to me,
Speaking words of wisdom:
“Write in C.”

As the deadline fast approaches,
And bugs are all that I can see,
Somewhere, someone whispers:
“Write in C.”

Write in C, Write in C,
Write in C, oh, Write in C.
LOGO’s dead and buried,
Write in C.

I used to write a lot of FORTRAN,
For science it worked flawlessly.
Try using it for graphics!
Write in C.

If you’ve just spent nearly 30 hours,
Debugging some assembly,
Soon you will be glad to
Write in C.

Write in C, Write in C,
Write in C, yeah, Write in C.
BASIC’s not the answer.
Write in C.

Write in C, Write in C
Write in C, oh, Write in C.
Pascal won’t quite cut it.
Write in C.

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When IT Guys Sing a Song (2)

The Beatles – Imagine

Imagine there’s no Windows,
It’s easy if you try.
No fatal errors or new bugs
To kill your hard drives.
Imagine Mr. Bill Gates
Leaving us in peace!

Imagine never-ending hard disks,
It isn’t hard to do.
Nothing to del or wipe off
And no floppy too
Imagine Mr. Bill Gates
Sharing all his money.

You may say I’m a hacker,
But I’m not the only one.
I hope someday you’ll join us
And your games will fit in RAM

Imagine 1-Giga RAM
I wonder if you can.
No need for left-shifts or set-ups
And no booting again and again.
Imagine all the systems
Working all life-time!

You may say I’m a hacker,
But I’m not the only one.
Maybe someday I’ll be a cracker
And then I’ll make Windows run.

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