Man/Woman Short Jokes
Wife: “Honey… what are you looking for?”
Husband: “Nothing.”
Wife: “Nothing?? You’ve been reading our marriage certificate for an hour…”
Husband: “I was just looking for the expiration date.”
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Q - What is the Difference Between Mother & Wife?
A - One Woman Brings you into this world crying… & the other ensures you continue to do so.
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Wife: “Do you want dinner?”
Husband: “Sure, what are my choices?”
Wife: “Yes and no.”
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Wife: “You always carry my photo in your briefcase to the office. Why?”
Husband: “When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.”
Wife: “You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?”
Husband: “Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, ‘What other problem can there be greater than this one?’”
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Girl: “When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.”
Boy: “It’s very kind of you, darling, But I don’t have any worries or troubles.”
Girl: “Well that’s because we aren’t married yet.”
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Son: “Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.”
Mom: “Well, you have done the right thing.”
Son: “But Mom, I was sitting on daddy’s lap.”
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A newly married man asked his wife, “Would you have married me if my father hadn’t left me a fortune?”
“Honey,” the woman replied sweetly, “I’d have married you NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE.”
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Interviewer to Millionaire: “To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire?”
Millionaire: “I owe everything to my wife.”
Interviewer: “Wow, she must be some woman. What were you before you married her?”
Millionaire: “A billionaire.”
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Girl to her boyfriend: “One kiss and I’ll be yours forever.”
The guy replies: “Thanks for the warning.”
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A wife asked her husband: “What do you like most in me my pretty face or my sexy body?”
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: “I like your sense of humor.”
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