Stress Reliever #1
Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Hubby: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Hubby: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself: What other problem can there be greater than this one?
Stress Reliever # 2
Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.
Boy: It’s very kind of you, darling, But I don’t have any worries or troubles.
Girl: Well that’s because we aren’t married yet.
Stress Reliever # 3
Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.
Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy’s lap.
Stress Reliever # 4
Wife: What’s your excuse for coming home at this time of the night?
Hubby: Golfing with friends, my dear.
Wife: What? At 2 am?!
Hubby: Yes, We used night clubs.
Stress Reliever # 5
A newly married man asked his wife, Would you have married me if my father hadn’t left me a fortune?
Honey, the woman replied sweetly, I’d have married you NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE
Stress Reliever # 6
Father to son after exam: Let me see your report card.
Son: My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents.
Stress Reliever # 7
“How was your blind date …?” a college student asked her roommate. “Terrible …!” the roommate answered. He showed up in his 1932 Rolls Royce.
“Wow! That’s a very expensive car. What’s so bad about that?”
“He wasn’t the original owner.”
Stress Reliever # 8
A teacher asked her class for sentences using the word beans.
My father grows beans, said one student.
My father cooks beans, said another.
Then little Johnny spoke up: We are all human beans.
Stress Reliever # 9
Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire?
Millionaire: I owe everything to my wife.
Interviewer: Wow, she must be some woman. What were you before you married her??
Millionaire: A Billionaire
Stress Reliever # 10
Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I’ll be yours forever.
The guy replies: Thanks for the warning.
Stress Reliever # 11
A husband was asked: Do you talk to your wife after sex?
He replied: Depends, if I can find a phone.
Stress Reliever # 12
Man to wife on wedding night: Are you sure I’m the first man you are sleeping with?
Wife replied: Of course honey, I stayed awake with all the others!
Stress Reliever # 13
Question: Why did they stop printing PAMELA ANDERSON stamps in the U.S.?
Answer: Because people started licking the wrong side.
Stress Reliever # 14
A wife asked her husband: What do you like most in me – my pretty face or my sexy body?
He looked at her from head to toe and the husband replied: I like your sense of humour.